This entire article is my opinion, and is based on how I have learned to cope with tough situations. Every individual is different and everyone’s coping mechanism varies so, to each their own.
Love and hate in my books are mutually exclusive. What does it mean to be mutually exclusive? It means that both products cannot exist at the same time. I think people often forget that the more room you make in your heart to hate, the less room you have to love. Now this might be a “no shit” moment, but do you really comprehend that love and hate are at a tug-of-war with each other? Think of love and hate as an opportunity cost: the energy you invest in hate is the energy you could have reinvested in something you love, or something that makes you happy.
How does one achieve less hate and more love or more peace? My answer is always to “let things go.” Letting go begins with realizing that happiness is a state of mind, and that the way in which you perceive the world and the way in which you consume experiences and emotions that the world emits all begins in your mind. Think of your mind as a filter: the depth in which you perceive a situation as heart breaking, full of misery, hopeless, or exciting, thrilling, and spontaneous really depends on how your mind filters situations; this fluctuates depending on what your mind tunes into or what it places emphasis on. The real challenge becomes finding out what is worth holding onto, and what we should let go of.
This concept of letting things go is something I’ve only recently grasped, and is easier in theory than to apply. It takes a lot of “finding yourself” to be able to let things go and realize that most bad energy isn’t worth any of your energy at all. Of course, it’s always easier said than done, but I found that learning to let things go is a crucial step in achieving peace. Everyone has different ways of dealing with bad situations, and most people choose anger or sadness as their primary outlet. I am no exception to this either; I turn to sadness when I feel not in control of a situation, or have been dealt with an unsatisfying outcome, but one day I realized that this outlet I chose was beginning to have a negative effect on my well-being. My sadness was beginning to spill and was being converted into a lack of effort, disconnection, isolation, and a lack of motivation. You know that old saying that if you want to stop the disease from spreading from the roots to the leaves, you have to cut the tree off at the trunk; that’s exactly how I saw it. The only way to stop yourself from becoming a ball of hate or misery is to prevent a buildup. This is where “letting go” plays a huge role.
Letting go to me is simply realizing that a certain situation is not worth investing energy into because it only brings bad energy back. I’ve grown to realize that not every situation requires a reaction and that often times the best reaction is no reaction at all. I’ve also realized that holding a grudge takes up more energy than to simply realize that a person who does not acknowledge that they’re wrong is not worth entertaining. I have come to forgive people with no apologies simply so I can be at peace with myself and I have learned to walk away from anyone or anything that interferes with my peace. Know your value and realize that you also don’t owe most people anything; you don’t need to validate yourself or give an explanation to most people about why you do the things you do or why you are the way you are. Think of energy as an amplifier, the more energy you invest in bad situations, the higher the chances are that your energy will transition into anger and hate. The more energy you put forth into good situations, the higher the chances are that you will experience happiness.
This does not mean don’t put forth any energy at all, as some situations are worth investing your energy into. What I’m trying to say is that it is important to know WHEN to let go. If the outcome of a situation is most likely not going to cause you happiness or make a positive change in your life, let it go. If a situation involves temporary people who are only causing temporary distress, let it go. It is important to realize that most things and people come and go, and only a few stay. Figure out what’s worth investing your energy in (what will stay) and remember that most of anything that causes pain is temporary and that letting it go will redirect you to happiness.
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